To my dear sweet friends, family, and possibly strangers that actually take the time to read my brain leakings-
Tonight I was asked why I decided to take this trip. The person who asked me was somewhat timid about it, and I realized that a few people have been curious about it, but are somewhat nervous to ask. I will tell you. For the most part. I will spare you some details that you may not be totally interested in anyway, and may not be totally kosher to post on the internet.
This year has been an extremely strange and tumultuous one for me. My life was turned upside down, and I found myself somewhere new. For those of you who don't know me as well as some others, I have a tendency to get very stir-crazy. Since I was a teenager, I have found myself constantly feeling a step behind everyone else, especially in my career (I'm an actor, btw, though I am pretty sure you all know that. If not... well you all do now). This has its obvious negative side effects, damage to the psyche and whatnot, but it also has the good side of always propelling me forward. If I ever feel in a rut, I tend to make a drastic change. Like... moving to a foreign country for half a year, or buying a one-way ticket to Spain and starting a blog.
As this year has been gaining momentum, I only pedal faster at any hint of slowing down. I found myself asking "what now?". As terrifying as it is, I am an adult, and it's time to start the things I want to continue for the rest of my life. I had to decide what things those are, and where I want to do them. Where am I going to live? Where am I going to work? WHAT work do I want to be doing? How will I make the money to do the things I want to do and support my chocolate milk addiction? What people do I need to make sure I have in my life?
I needed to find the answers to these questions, and I needed to get away. I have always loved traveling, and have always dreamed of backpacking through Europe, and this was the ideal time. I had been toying with the idea of going, but an onslaught of doubts and fears caused me to put off actually booking anything. Then, I had a classic ALi freakout, bought a ticket, and left 1 week later. The rest is blogged history.
Being here has been one of the best things to ever happen to me, and has been nothing less than a blessing. It seems it really was meant to be. Everything has fallen into place right when it has needed to for me. I have had the time to clear my head, to refocus, to repair relationships, and as cliche as it is, to re-find myself.
The verdict so far? Let's see. I will be staying in LA, at least for the next while. I have issues with permanency, but as soon as I get back I will be searching for a place I can settle into, and buy those old things to decorate it with that I talked about some entries back. I am creating my cartoon. This is already a way into the process, but I am full speed ahead, and I am going to make it happen.
Also- and I am very excited about this one- I am creating my own theatre company. It is called Tut'Zanni, and it is an international physical theatre troupe. Through this I will be able to write, act, and direct, among many other things. It is still in its baby stages, but I have had so much love and support as I have been networking my way through Europe.
I have been growing, and healing, and exploring. I have met so many new amazing people, made new friends, and strengthened relationships with old friends. I have eaten delicious food, seen beautiful things, laughed cried, and all those mushy things that accompany a life-changing experience. I am sad to be in the later stages of this trip, but it is something that I will remember forever and hold dear to my heart. I am glad to be able to share bits and pieces of it with all of you, and I hope you have enjoyed tagging along.
Thank you so much for all of your love and support,
ALi
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