Day 35 Traveling Round the Whole Wide World (Strasbourg)

Today was mostly a travel day, with pockets of joy and sadness. This morning I had to get up a touch early (sad), so I could get ready and still spend some time with Flora (joy). It was a peaceful morning, eating and chatting, only interrupted by a large black man knocking on the door and demanding to come in and check for fire safety. Flora made him wait, because he was being rude. After she finally allowed the inspection, the man politely introduced himself and was somewhat apologetic. You know why? Because Flora's got much bigger balls than him. That's right. He got schooled. (joy).

Then I said my goodbyes (sad) and made my way to the train station, which was now working (joy). I stocked up on some tasty snacks, of course (joy), and took the chunnel back to Paris. This time, thankfully (joyfully), I did not have my seat taken, and did not have to deal with some jerk stretching his legs out all into my space (JOY). Once in Paris, I had a few hours to kill before my next train, so I decided to go to my favorite bakery (JOY)!! But it was closed (DESPAIR)! So I went instead to the grocery store, and thank goodness Paris has good foods to choose from. The winners were...

CHEESE! France, you did well here. I ate this on a crispy baguette (not pictured).

(<--JOY)

Cookies! No, I don't shop like a 5 year old....








                                                                                         (joy)

Look! I bought fruit, like an adult. I even bought TWO peaches. TWO. That makes me double adult.








There was only a mild hiccup at the train station, where basically all the departure/arrival boards went down (sad). Also, I think the power went out in all the little food stalls. I'm not sure quite how this happens at such a major station, or why there was no backup generator or something. Instead, they had a thousand little train station people in uniforms come out to tell you where to go. I liked this. (Joy.) I found my train easily enough, and was hit with a surprise. If I remember right, I think I paid an extra like 2 euros for my ticket than the regular ticket. What this meant was I got a super pimped out 1st class seat! (JOYYYY!!!) I boarded my 1st class coach, and found my seat.

Booyah. You know why I was able to take this picture so easily? Because there is no one next to me. My enormous seat is too grand to have any others next to it. I also got my own tray, fancy cupholder, and outlet, because 1st classers always have important electronics to plug in. I plugged in my laptop to play important solitaire. ALSO check out this button:

 You know what it does? It moves my chair. Not like a crappy airplane seat. By magic, and it moves the bottom part of my seat forward or back, along with tilting the back of the chair. I was king for a day.

(JOY)

After exiting my train-palace, I was greeted by my very first (at least from the site) couchsurfing host! Gaetan, aka "The Sheriff". Bask in his glory:

That's right. How many of you can say you have surfed the Sheriff's couch? That's what I thought.

Gaetan gave me a nighttime tour of Strasbourg, which was amazing and beautiful. I didn't really take pictures, because it was dark, and that usually doesn't work out so perfectly. But so far, I love Strasbourg. One day I will conquer it, and it will be mine forever.

Day 34 (London)

Today. Today today today. Bike tour day!

Complete with creepy clown crotch shot. You're welcome. I'm sorry Bonnie, if you read this post. For those of you who don't know her, Bonnie is my awesome big sister. And she has a phobia of clowns. And snails. But we're discussing the clowns today. I have one distinct memory of when we were younger, we used to share a room. We had bunk beds, Bonnie on the top and me on the bottom. I actually remember I got to sleep on the top once, which resulted in me somehow rolling off in my sleep and gashing open the entire inside of my thigh on the corner of our dresser. This must have taken some serious sleep skills, as the dresser was next to the head of the bed, but I was probably sleep fighting off some ninjas or something. Knowing me.

Now that I'm off on a double tangent, let's take a step back. So we had one of those stuffed animal corner hammock things, because children have some way of acquiring massive amounts of stuffed animals, and forming possibly unhealthily strong attachments to them, so you have to find some way of keeping them in view, but very much out of the way, as everything they touch turns into a mess. At least with me as a child. I had a black stuffed bear that I named 'Snowball' (I was sooo clever), and when I had first got him, I actually cried telling this bear that I wouldn't forget about him like I did my other stuffed animals, and he would always be special to me. Don't even pretend like you never did something like that. I don't know where Snowball is today, but I hope he's with another child who is crying and saying they'll never abandon him. That is the stuffed animal circle of life.

How does this keep happening?! Anyway, one night my sister woke me up at who knows what hour, freaking out, because all the stuffed animals had bound themselves together into a giant clown and was stomping across the dresser towards us!! Ok so actually she woke me up because they looked like a clown face, and I had to stomp across the dressed to mix them up into a less frightening position. There was a lot of buildup to such a simple story, so don't blame me for trying to spruce things up a bit.

THE END.

Baack to London. The bike tour was quite lovely. I have to say, London's monuments and such are a bit less impressive than some of the other European cities, but their parks are beautiful. The bike tour was still interesting, as I got to learn some history that I will soon forget, but it really was just nice to cycle for a few hours through the beautiful scenery. I mean look at this

It's like a friggin fairy tale. London does have beautiful buildings too. It is like the movies. For realsies. FINE I will show you some pictures of the tour. History Tiiiiime!

Kensington Palace. Princess Victoria (later Queen Victoria) grew up here. Also, Princess Diana lived here. It was originally someone's home, but a royal guy had asthma, and at the time this was out of London, so he "acquired" it. That means royal stealing.

A big cool arch. Used to be the tiniest police station/jail ever. They could hold like... one guy.

You can't really see it, but there is a small boy on the chariot. This is because they didn't have enough money to make it, so some rich guy was like, I'll pay for it, but put my son in the statue. So they did.

Canadian memorial! Representing all the times England and Canadia banded together. I really hope it's Canada and not Australia. Nope. It's Australia. Canada doens't do anything. What was I thinking?! Sneaky Canada. Just sitting there. Quietly. Seeping into my brain. I'm watching you.

                          Cool building! Wee!

New Zealand Memorial! How do I know this? Because it points to New Zealand. And I always know where New Zealand is.

This guard is standing where there would usually be one of those classic big bearskin hat guards would be. Jerk. I hate you for not wearing a bearskin hat.

England's 100% bomb-proof building. Ironically, the only building that never got hit.

     CHUUUUUUUUURRRRRCH!!!! That is all.

Again. I think I will steal England's parks and claim them as my own. I'm sorry, did I say steal? I meant 'acquire'.

This is the Princess Diana Monument. It's a neat water feature that loops around, and kids can play in it and stuff.






There. I toured you through London. Are you happy now?! Geez, you're so high maintenance. After my tour, I basically walked around Central London. There is a buttload of shopping, but seeing as I have to carry everything I buy, I opted for just some good ol' window shopping. That's shopping for poor people. Then I made it back to Flora, who made me THIS

These are the good times. We spent the evening eating and chatting, then we totally dyed and cut her hair, and it looks super cute on her. And watched ridiculous videos.

That night as I was falling asleep, Flora said, "Now that I've found Darragh, I don't want to die." These are the moments we live for.

Day 33 (London)

Tally ho!

I don't have much to say for today. I took 3 pictures. Count 'em.

ONE. 2 graffiti skullies in lub. 

TWO. A terrible picture of some of the Indian food Flora and I ate.

THREE. A blurry picture of my mangro lassi, because I have no patience to take 12 pictures of lassi, and I got pissed off at my camera and put it in time out instead for taking blurry pictures. THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!








It's not that I didn't do anything. Well, I didn't do much in the morning except surf the internet like the procrastinating ADD child that I am. But eventually I crawled out of my comfort-hole and Flora and I went vintage shopping.

I'm at a somewhat strange stage in my life. I'm like a freakish mutant hybrid, part adult, part hyperactive 5-year-old, and part cloud. I am to the point where I would like to have a place to really settle into, to buy cool old cameras and junk and build stuff, and decorate a place into what I could call "home". But that means I actually have to choose somewhere to have a somewhat permanent residence, and that terrifies me. I can't afford to really buy any property, as I for some reason had to choose a career that demands I live like a gypsy. Though I'm pretty sure even gypsies have more money than I do. But if I could stop floating around and decide where I at least want a home base, I could lease something. Paint it. Have a couch for strangers to surf. And a strange chadelier-like wall sconce with dinosaur heads on it. I already have the sconce. Now I just need the apartment.

That's right. You didn't know I'd be sucking you into a tangent about my life did you?! Suckers. LEARN ABOUT MEEE.

After the introspective vintage shopping, we went and saw "The Tree of Life". Ok. I liked this movie, and it was moving and beautiful, but not ONE PERSON even gave a hint that it's totally not... a movie. What the crap. Everyone's all like, "oh it's so great, oh I cried the whole time", but none of you could take the 2 second to be like, "oh yeah, and it's totally not like a regular movie". Yeah. It's like a Natural Geographic-y piece of cinematic poetry. Which is great, and yeah I cried like a fat baby, and was all deep thought-ish afterwards, but it was not AT ALL what I was expecting. The effect of the movie was slightly lessened by the guy next to me going "what the f*ck?!" about every 5 minutes, but I couldn't exactly argue with him, when it went from "my son died (in the war?)" to <SPOILER ALERT> "we're gonna make you feel bad for this dinosaur that almost gets eaten but then doesn't for a completely unknown reason". Don't worry. I didn't really spoil it for you. You never see the dinosaur again.

I know I know, it's hard to have so many words and not as many pictures, and I'm sorry. To make you feel better, I will share this small story with you. I forgot to tell you on the day it happened, and then I forgot what day it happened, so I'm going to pretend it was today.

So today, as I was walking aimlessly down the road, I heard some shrieking-laughing from a little blonde pigtailed little girl. She zoomed by delightedly on her little push-scooter that was clearly too big for her, and was careening at top speed towards a large, very solid building. I stopped and gasped, expecting a full-on collision, but I was wrong. She had not yet learned how to use the brakes, and I'm mildly convinced she couldn't have properly used them at her size at it was, so with her quick little 2-year-old problem solving skills simply let go of the handlebars, and promptly placed both her hands on the ground, stopping just an inch from the wall. That's skills, people. That's skills.

Day 32 (London)

When I first was talking about going to Europe, I was all like, "Man, I'm probably gonna lose a ton of weight, from being poor and not buying food, and from walking around all the time". No. This was true for probably about the first week, while I was in Spain on my own, but after that it's been out of control. My friends are too good to me. They all feed me well, and make sure I'm taken care of. Also, it doesn't seem to help that the last few countries I've been in, they have super delicious heavy or fatty food that I can actually afford. Yes, Paris was expensive, but not the croissants, or the baguettes.

OH! I just remembered. I would like you all to know that I am now fluent in English. You know how I know? Last night, I dreamed in English. BRITISH English.That's right. England is now MINE.

For breakfast I had porridge. Do not be fooled by old novels or made-for-TV movies about orphans in England. Porridge is delicious. Although I did have the advantage of sprucing it up with some fancy toppins. Not toppins like "feed the birds..." (I hope that song is stuck in your head for the rest of the day), but toppins like this:

DE-licious. Next week: gruel.

So Darragh, Flora and I decided to hit up the ol' Notting Hill Carnival. It was sort of a strange affair though. It definitely seemsl like the biggest festival, as it had pretty much all of England in the streets

SO. MANY. PEOPLE. See the little blots that go off way into the distance? More people. It's like this for like 10 blocks, on every street.








Also, there was good food. I had me some jerk chicken and grilled corn, mmhmm. (<--read that with a super twangy southern accent. DO IT.)

JEEEEEERK CHICKEN!!!

GRILLLLLLLED CORN!!

Mama Flo and Darragh eatin' up some sassages. NO, I did not spell that wrong, I wanted you to read it like that. I AM ALL POWERFUL.







The strange thing though, is for such a huge event, there really wasn't that much going on. The parade consisted of a line of semi-trucks blasting Caribbean club-like music, with a few girls in glittery costumes bobbing their heads to the music. The food stalls were all kind of spread out here and there. We were glad we went, but we left after a couple hours, mildly confused. Though we can all appreciate a day where everyone just goes out and gets drunk in the street together. Party on, London. Party on.

Remember how I told you pubs are super rad in London? They still are. We went to one and met up with some friends. They were playing an intense game of Scrabble. We broke out the- wait for it- the dominoes. That's right. After about one game though, it quickly shifted into this:

I've told you before. Perpetually 12 years old. It will never change. It was Sunday, and that meant roast-only day at the pub. This proved to be NO disappointment

Look at this. LOOK AT IT! I'm sorry England for always making fun of your food. I didn't know you had this. Ok, I'm not really sorry, because you still eat things called "toad in the hole". BAD. BAD ENGLAND. We don't eat toads. And we don't eat holes. Unless they are donuts.





That night I made a thank-you dessert for Flora and Darragh. Now I don't usually talk about how great I am, as I'm so humble and all, but dude, can I make a bomb-*ss dessert!

<--- Peaches grilled in brown sugar and cinnamon

Served with vanilla ice cream and an impromptu crumble. Secret recipe.








Dear world: If you take me into your home, I will shower you with desserts. It's how I do.

It was a very full day, and super amazing.

Flora and Darragh are super awesome. And ADORABLE. Darragh has to leave to for Moscow tomorrow morning. He's a writer. You should all buy his book when it comes out. NO BATTLE.

This is my English boyfriend. He has a skin condition.

Dear Mr. Monopoly Man,
Please stop hitting on all the 6-eyed ladies. You're really creepin 'em out. I don't care how many Boardwalks you own. Your money is no good here.

Day 31 (London)

Flora and Darragh are taking very good care of me. They made me breakfast!!

This was my first time ever having poached eggs. They were delicious. They're on some kale on some toast.  He's Irish. they do that sort of thing.

This can be nothing less than ambrosia. If I could only drink 1 juice for the rest of my life, this would be it.








Then they had to go out apartment shopping, and they left me alone to my own devices. I danced around to some music, then I discovered some hair cutting scissors. Yay! Sharp things! Of course, I quickly decided to chop away at my hairs. They also had one of those cool razor-scissor set things, and I'd never used them before, so naturally I decided to learn their secrets on my own hair.

Thankfully, the hair gods decided to do me a solid, and everything turned out awesome.

Yay for not looking like I got caught in a weed-whacker! I have some bangs again, and I can actually brush my hair like a normal person.

Then I ventured out into the world. First, the subway station I needed was closed due to the "bank holiday" (which basically means, hi, I'm England, I don't wanna go to work). So I wandered around confidently (I never look lost, that's my trick), perhaps in a circle several times, went down the wrong street for a while, then eventually found myself at a working station. I am emperor of all metro systems now, and I dominated this one.

 It took me a while to figure it out, but a man's voice says "mind the gap" over and over again on the intercom in the stations. I was confused trying to listen, and almost fell right in. Seems counterproductive.

I got into central London and explored. London is a huge beautiful city. The architecture is a mixture of old and new. There are little parks scattered around, and neat plazas.

Fancy monuments!

Plazas, with fountains, and people! 

Oooh! I'm London!










Throughout the day, I got to experience real London weather. First, it was overcast, then sunny, then drizzly, then sunny, then pouring down so hard and so suddenly that people broke into a sprint into any nearby building. I'm beginning to think that London can actually control the weather, so they can attack everyone with rain, forcing them into all the nearby shops. It's very good for the economy. I see what you're up to, London. I'm on to you!

Walking through London is sort of like a cartoon. Everyone sounds a little bit silly, and the signs almost seem like bad translations, or just strange in general. Exhibit A:

Why, thank you sign, for informing me that Starbucks is open, as usual. I can't tell if you are disappointed by this fact or simply delight in displaying unnecessary information. There were other signs I found highly amusing, but I did not snap pictures yet, so you will just have to wait!





I went to Flora's play, which was radical, she was fabtastic. Afterwards we hit up a pub. Pubs are really nice here. In America, we just have bars, which are either a touch dirty, and everyone is hitting on everyone, or they're all clubby and too fancy to just chill. 1 point for England.

Back at the apartment, Flora (accompanied by Darragh, who is apparently a ghost or a vampire and can't be photographed) made us toasty cheese deliciousness, as Darragh would put it, and it was one of the best things I have ever put in my mouth.

THIS. Decorated with hot sauce. What did you eat?! I bet it had less love than this.

Day 30 (Paris)

This is my symbol of Paris. In focus: a delicious brie sandwich, with the beautiful city in the background. The lady in the bakery totally knows me now. We're like this (I'm crossing my fingers).

I took it a little easy this morning. I sat at my window overlooking Paris, attacking all pastries in sight.

I only went a little crazy. Eventually I sadly packed my things, and I was off to Versailles! I was sad about the packing part, not the Versailles part.

Versailles is ridiculous. It is a fabulous palace (as they all are), with a few exceptional features. Some of the more impressive bits include:

Your own personal pipe organ!

The Hall of Mirrors! Because it just wasn't enormous enough, we had to give the illusion that it was even bigger. But size matters when you are built by.... I'm giving you a second to guess...

That's right! Louis XIV. The guy who builds stuff, and puts himself on stuff. Check out those calves. Technically, the Chateau was built by Louis XIII, but it was just a mere hunting lodge the. Louis XIV expanded it and made it his own.










The Chateau Versailles is filled with beautiful statues and art and rich people stuff, but I think my favorite part was the grounds. Sprawling lawns with fountains and forest. It was gorgeous

Look at me! Bein' all artsy and crap.

It seriously went on forever in every direction. I wished I had a carriage. Or a car.

I also saw the Petite and Grand Trianon, where Marie Antoinette lived, and some other famous people or something. There was a cool sort of fashion display in the Grand one. But no pictures allowed. Sorry. You'll just have to go yourself.

After walking around for hours, I made one last goodbye trip to my favorite little bakery. The girl who smirks at my french wasn't there though. Sad face. But the pastries were. Happy face. Here's the gang-

First! Tartelette Citron with meringue. Oh. My. Gosh. They make meringue taste a kzillion times better than the best whipped cream you've ever had. No joke. All other dairy treats bow down to the glory of this egg white swirl.

Next up: un croissant beurre. Because 42 layers of butter was just not enough, they had to add more, and brush it with more. The powder on top is not actually powdered sugar, it's just flour that rubbed off of number 3.

I totally forgot what this is called. I actually had seen several people eating it throughout my trip, so I got one. It's a tasty, nutty bread filled with dried fruit and joy.






I will miss you pastries. I truly will. But I was off to London! I am terrible and did not take pictures of my arrival, but just picture me, put my backpack on, add Paris smell, and a touch of filth, and there you go. Flora and Darragh looked good though. But I cannot be outshone!

They picked me up from the train station, and we hit up a pub and chatted up. It was so amazing to see Flora again :D and to meet Darragh. They rock my world. Then they took me home and tucked me into me sweet warehouse futon, kissed me on the forehead, and told me stories until I fell asleep. <3