This One's For You, Dory. Day 17- WienerPost (Vienna, Prague)

So I woke up miserably this morning, with some guys legs diagonally all up in my space, and freezing air blowing through the train car. However, I looked out the window and saw beautiful misty mountains

Austria is beautiful. They have awesome bridges and buildings. It's like a totally different world.

So I arrived in Vienna and I was all like, 'Geez Vienna, we GET it, you've got huge amazing buildings and fantastic statues. But what ELSE have you got?'. But what can you expect from a city with street names like "Citydurchfart?" Yes. That's right. You are about to read through an onslaught of fart and wiener jokes. Prepare yourself.

So I said to myself, 'Self, let's play a game. Let's take pictures of all the wieners you can find in Vienna.' And I was all like, 'OK!'.

SoI set out on a new game I deemed...

And my tour of Vienna commenced!

wiener train!

wiener tag! Weird game to play. It's a cultural thing.

Large impressive building...

Another huge fancy building...

wiener leash! you keep that thing reined in, now. there are leash laws here.

Lady on a segway... hehe. what a wiener.

Fairy tale castle...

Fantastic architecture, yada yada yada...

I found the wurst wiener in Vienna. Badoom-tsh

wiener bank!

wiener restaurant!

And then I found it. I found the winning piece of this whole game. I came across it and laughed in the plaza like a madwoman. That's right. I embarrass myself in public. It was worth it, for this guy...

(large empty space for dramatic effect)

BOOYAH.

So Vienna turned out to be quite the entertaining experience for me, as I am perpetually 12 years old. Oh, you think I'm done? No. I'm done with the wiener thing. But check these out:

 It's nice of them to have congratulatory signs, but I guess this explains why the city smells so bad.

This one is less funny, but I still couldn't help it.

I saw this outside a store

 See when your language acutally sounds like a dog barking, all I can get from this is that their store couldn't afford a real guard dog, so they put up it's cute counterpart with text-style barking noises.

Hahaha. Am Graben...

I couldn't quite understand why on the escalators, they would have "notstop" levers. Perhaps they don't have escalators, but stairs, and when you pull this lever they turn into escalators. That must be it. It's a cultural thing.

So my time in Vienna had finished. We had a few laughs, but Prague was next on the list. I got thirsty at the train station, and apparently wieners don't believe in water, so I settled for what I thought was flavored water stuff. No. I'm pretty sure they just washed some fruit, took the dirty water, and carbonated it, to make this guy:

I don't know what an "apfel" is, but I'm never going to eat one, and it goes terribly with cranberry.

On the train that morning, someone had gotten on the train eating what I thought was a big soft roll filled with chocolate. 'Wow' I thought, 'that looks delicious. I must find me one of those wiener treats'. So I did.

Look at it. Doesn't it look delicious? NO! It's a lie! It is NOT chocolate. This is a stale sort of roll filled with what I can only guess is some sort of prune jam. I am not 80 or incontinent. I am young, and fully determined to ruin my digestive system with ACTUAL desserts, thank you very much.

 Yeah. just look at it. Staring at me. Like a big fat laxative. This, my friends, is a cruel joke. A mar to the world of pastries.

Still hungry, yet painfully limited, I settled on these:

I can appreciate candy in the shape of vegetables, but I was a touch turned off by the picture of what I could only assume was a mama mushroom happily awaiting you to eat her babies.

At least they were tasty babies.

Phew! I had quite the day! Well I got to my hostel, but got stir crazy and ventured out to find an internet cafe/restaurant thing from my guidebook, where I could happily munch on some cheap eats and finish these blogs.

Of course, that didn't happen. On my way into the city, I met Ismail, from French Morocco, and Romain, from Canada!

Romain is wearing the 22 shirt, and Ismail is wearing the sweet hat.

So we wandered about the Old City, which is gorgeous at night

 Ooooh....

 Ahhhh......

Eeeeeeee.....

 This is an astrological clock. Apparently on the hour a skeleton comes out to ring the bell, and the apostles come out and dance or something. It failed to do so when I was there, but I will be inspecting it during the daytime tomorrow. So we shall see.

Then we got hungry, and I decided that maybe I should have something more substantial than nutella toasts and mushroom candy babies, so we ate in the clock plaza. I had some of this tasty business:

 And I finally trammed it back home to crash land in a real bed, which was oh-so welcome.